Too Sensitive!!!!!

It's so easy for a man to be sarcastic and joke about whatever he wants and expect a woman to be ok with it or at least get over it. When a woman does it, she better be ready to pick her man up from the pity train cause there's gonna be some pouting. As tough and sturdy as guys try to be, they sure know how to get down on themselves over something a women says. Earlier tonight I sent my boyfriend a text asking him a minor question about something online, I didn't get a response from him right away so I just figured it out myself which wasn't a big deal, I knew he was probably busy or something. About a half an hour later he texted me with the answer and said he didn't realize he had a message so I replied, "it's fine, I've learned not to depend on a man. lol j/k". Now obviously I was joking since I wrote, j/k, but he ended up feeling bad for missing a NON important text by saying, "Jokin or not that made me feel like a douche and undependable". Oh my God get over it; so he missed one of my texts, it's not like it will be the only time he misses a call or text from me. After that he said he felt bad because what if something happened to me or I got myself into trouble, which does happen, and I couldn't get a hold of him. After that conversation I was ready to start some huge bar fight and call him just to say, "see, I told you you wouldn't miss an important call from me if something happened, now could you come bail me out of jail because I kicked the bouncers ass from the bar". If men are starting to worry and become more sensitized to the smaller things in a relationship, then what is the women's role? I get that as a guy things are handled differently now than say fifty years ago, but seriously, pull your balls out of your murse (man purse) and attached them to yourself again. It would make things much more balanced in the world and I wouldn't be worried about hurting my boyfriends feelings with sarcasm.

Insecurities

I nearly just ended one of the few good things in my life right now because I have insecurity issues which I can thank my ex's for. So far I really haven't had too many issues with the things my boyfriend does because I do trust him, I just might not always be thrilled with them. Just a little while ago he told me he was going to go to the Halloween party tomorrow that someone we used to work with was having which I never had any intentions on going to because I don't wanna be around all the young and immature people that are going to be there. I honestly didn't think he was going to go considering he has his daughter right now and I don't know, I just didn't think he was going. I don't know why him going to this party bothers me so much when I was fine with him going to Bud Bash a couple months ago, but it does. I guess the biggest issue I have is that in the past he's cheated on his girlfriends which I honestly don't think he'd do to me, but years ago I was with someone that cheated on me all the time so I have a fear of that happening again.

I don't doubt that he loves me and wouldn't do anything that could hurt me, but the fear is still there. In past relationships or when just dating someone, I end it with them before I have the chance to get too attached. For me it's just easier to break it off and move on rather than sticking it out and risk them hurting me in some way. With my boyfriend I've stepped out of my comfort level to see where it will lead because he's more than worth the risk, but sometimes that isn't enough. Just knowing the people he'll be with tomorrow and how they treat girls or their girlfriends is enough to make me want to end it just for my own sanity. I know it's not fair that I'm taking my worries out on him, but pushing guys away is how I protect myself from the chance of being hurt. Either he'll be strong enough to keep me from pushing him away or he won't. Right now it seems like it could go either way, but for what it's worth, I'm rooting for him.

Morning People!

I don't know how people manage to get up and around for the day by 9:00am when they don't have to work. It's going on noon and I still can't manage to wake up and get around for the day. It takes all the small amount of energy I have to get my butt up and walk to the shower, and not to mention figuring what I wanna wear for the day. I know I'm a girl, but I really don't care for the outfit decision part; it is not enjoyable. Just like some people have a little captain in them, I need a little morning in me.

Writers block

So I've been trying to keep my focus on writing again, but this time it's a little more difficult than it was before. I have three projects in the works and very few ideas to keep them going. I think for the most part I don't have the frustration I had before when it came to guys which let me just let loose on the computer or maybe the first time writing was just the easiest to do. Whatever reason it is that I just can't get out on paper what I'm wanting to is just annoying. If anyone has dating disaster stories they wanna share, feel free cause I could use all the inspiration possible right now.

to be with myself for the last two weeks I would have stayed single. Relationships suck!

Dating definitely sucks when you don't see the person your dating for a couple weeks. I get that things come up, but I still can't stand it. If I wanted

Leprechauns

Alright, so my teamleader at work bought my book on Friday and thought it was so great that I actually wrote a book and it was published and for sale. We've talked about writing and our dating histories quite a bit lately and we have that type of work relationship were we yell at eachother and every comment that comes out of our mouths is sarcastic. So anyway, my teamleader bought the book on Friday and said he was going to read it over the weekend and let me know what he thought on Monday. Wel,l I'm guessing he read the book because he won't even look me in the eye. He didn't talk to me and it seemed like he was trying to avoid me which is weird because normally we go out of our way to give eachother a hard time on a regular basis. All I can think is that parts of my book talk about sex and maybe that freaked him out a little. OH WELL!! Get over it you little troll, lol.